Our brains are truly amazing organs. Our brain is able to fill in blind spots so our field of vision is complete, it is able to keep our body’s chemicals regulated, it keeps our heart beating, it keeps us breathing, and it creates elaborate stories. We humans are natural storytellers. In fact, we create stories so naturally for ourselves that we may not even notice that we are creating a story for others. Jimmy didn’t smile at me today. I wonder if he is mad at me? My spouse didn’t say anything when I was talking about my project at work, does my spouse think it is a bad idea? The storytelling comes in many forms like blame, jumping to conclusions, shaming, and so on. All of these types of stories lead to suffering.
Once we recognize these troublesome thoughts, we are able to change them. Our emotions tend to help lead the way. When you are feeling anything other than joy and happiness, notice the stories you have been telling yourself. Are you willing to change the story to something more empowering? The fact will remain the same, the story will just change. If Jimmy doesn’t smile at you ask him about it. The fact still remains that Jimmy didn’t smile but Jimmy’s reasoning may not have anything to do with how he feels about you. This approach helps build relationships. Jimmy will probably feel more loved and respected when you let him tell you how he is feeling rather than assuming his thoughts and intentions.
Happy Storytelling!