What if I don’t really feel grateful?

When we think about being grateful for the things we have in our lives, sometimes we can experience resistance. We feel grateful but there is a nagging thought that prevents us from feeling wholly grateful.

 

• Gratitude: We might feel so grateful for our home but worry about losing it.
• Resistance: If I attach to loving my home then I will feel worse if it is gone.

 

• Gratitude: I feel grateful for my health but I am not always healthy.
• Resistance: How can I feel grateful for something that I don’t have all the time.

 

• Gratitude: I appreciate that I can drink the water from my faucet without fear of getting sick.
• Resistance: That is silly to be thankful for something as simple as water. I should be thankful for my family.

 

If you notice resistance, start journaling. Write about all the things you appreciate about that particular person or thing. Focus on all that you enjoy, avoiding negative aspects. Before long, you will start to notice feeling excitement and appreciation for the person or thing about which you are writing. Keep going until you can’t think of anything more to write. Notice how you feel. Do you feel good? If you don’t find something else to write about until you have that good, energized feeling. Focus on the good feeling that you discovered while writing. Try to keep that attitude of gratitude as long as you can. You can recreate it anytime you would like.

 

If you are still struggling with finding that attitude of gratitude, you may need to dispute those pesky, negative thoughts with facts.

 

• Gratitude: We might feel so grateful for our home but worry about losing it.
• Resistance: If I attach to loving my home then I will feel worse if it is gone.
• Disputation: I have been paying my mortgage for many years now so it is likely that I will continue to pay the mortgage. I can appreciate the time that I am in the house. When I do move it may be for the better (moving to a new town, moving to a house that is even more perfect, etc). I don’t have to assume that if I don’t have this house the next house will be worse. I have managed to find housing in the past and I will find housing in the future. Just because I don’t have the house I have right now doesn’t mean that I will be homeless.

 

Focusing on the positive aspects of life are always more enjoyable than worrying about what could happen. Most of the time, our imagination is much worse than reality. Keep disputing until you begin feeling energized and grateful.

 

Think about making this exercise a habit. Include your family. At the dinner table or before your family goes to bed at night, talk about what and whom you are grateful to have in your life. Everyone gets a turn to share. If you live alone, call a friend. You will both be happier for it.