Our lives are forever in flux. Each day brings about new and interesting adventures, experiences and sometimes challenges. This is true for all of us so why are some people happier and less affected by adversity. Positive Psychology research suggests it is the story we tell ourselves that determines our perceptions.
If you are feeling down, anxious, frustrated or another emotion that is not desired, examine the story you are telling yourself. We humans are storytellers. If you just looked at the facts of the situation there are not emotions attached. It is when we start making inferences from the facts that our emotions appear. My favorite example is when a car pulls out in front of you when driving. The fact is the car pulled out in front of you. That is it, no emotion. Some people will begin a story about the drivers poor driving and seeing abilities which often leads to attacking the driver personally. It may sound something like this, “I can’t believe that that person pulled out in front of me! What a crappy driver, S/he should have the license revoked. What a jerk!” This story, of course, leads to anger, disdain, contempt, or a multitude of other unpleasant emotions. A story that leads to better feeling emotions could be, “Well at least s/he didn’t’ hit me. I am glad s/he is in front of me so I don’t have to worry about him/her hitting me. Today is my lucky day I avoided yet another accident!” That story leads to happier, more empowered emotions. When you arrive at your destination you will probably feel better telling the latter story.
Your body thanks you for the better story, as well. When we stress, our bodies release fight or flight chemicals that are not good for us when we really don’t need them. Excess fight or flight chemicals released in the body over time can cause many health related problems (source).
So today, when your emotions are less than optimal notice the stories you are telling yourself. Experiment with different stories for different emotional results. You have the power to imagine your emotion life. Let us know how it is working for you.
My whole life I have reacted to situations many times as a person, and as a nurse. I can very much see the toll the ” negative reaction” and self induced stress, has effected my health. So retraining myself to be positive sounds good. It will take time, but time is all I have.
Thank you! I always appreciate your insight!