We humans tend to look at life through the lens of problem solving, especially when we are not happy. We focus on what is not right in an effort to fix or change it so we may become happier. This well meaning process can lead to further frustration and pain.This perspective continuously focuses on problems. We are, in essence, training our brains to see problems, not happiness. What if we trained ourselves to see progress and encouraging growth? If we are working on something we want more of, celebrate each step along the way rather than scold yourself for not reaching your goal yet or fast enough. That would be equivalent to scolding our first grade selves for not finishing high school yet.
An example of this mind shift can be illustrated by this mind shift itself. Celebrate that you made the choice to change your thinking in an effort to be happier. Commend yourself each time you notice that you are again looking at the problem rather than your growth. Remember, being aware of your desire to change is a huge step in the right direction. Next, mentally cheer yourself on when you are noticing the struggle between the old thoughts and your newly desired thoughts. Perhaps you can recite a mantra that encourages you, “every day I am getting better and better”. If this mantra suits you, great. If not find one that fits you. If you want to, keep a tally of your growth. Notate each time you thought your new way. Reward yourself when you reach a milestone like 25 times, 50 times, and so on. After a while, you will have this new way of thinking so ingrained, it may be strange to think of you thinking any other way.
It is such a slight modification yet so profound and over time, life changing!!