It is nice to reconnect with family and friends over the holidays. Some of our relationships, usually with family, can be difficult. Our egos get involved and we seemed to be more emotionally invested in things working out a certain way. If that is true for you and your family, perhaps the following five strategies may help you experience more joy this holiday season.
First, lower your expectations. There can be many hopes for having a peaceful, happy holiday gathering. We want and hope to feel connected to our family. Sometimes this leads to disappointment. When mentally and emotionally preparing to visit family, try to forgo any expectations.
Two, reflect on the good. When leaving the gathering reflect on the things that went well. Appreciate the good of the food, the health of your relatives, the ability to get together, and any other experiences that brought you joy while together with your family.
Three, use the phrase “You might be right”. This phrase is borrowed from my friends in Al-anon. Sometimes we think we are right and so does the person with whom we are speaking. Using the phrase, You might be right, allows for them to be right and you to be right without either of you losing. This phrase is great at defusing conflict.
Four, go to the bathroom. If things get heated and you are feeling uncomfortable, excuse yourself and go to the bathroom. No one will follow you in there and when you return the topic will have likely changed.
Five, find love in your heart. When interacting with people, if you can find a space where you feel love in your heart, situations tend to go better. Wen all want to feel love and respected by others, especially our family. When we are able to give it we tend to get it in return. The more love and compassion we have for others the better we feel.
I hope these tools help you enjoy your family more over the next few weeks.