Discussion Ideas

If weren’t able to make it to the meeting of the book club: here are the discussion ideas we referenced.

• “What a wonderful life I’ve had! I only wish I’d realized it sooner.” Gretchen quoting the author Colette. Did this notion resonate with you? When people reflect upon the life they have lived do they regret not appreciating life more?
• “To be happy, I need to think about feeling good, feeling bad and feeling right” Pg 65. She elaborates, feeling more good, feeling less bad and feeling that I am living the life I am supposed to lead. She adds , “in an atmosphere of growth” then calls it her First Splendid Truth. Does this seem like an accurate formula for you to use when increasing your happiness?
• Her second splendid truth. “One of the best ways to make myself happy is to make other people happy. One of the best ways to make other people happy is to be happy myself.” Have you found this to be true for you?
• The Fun of Failure! pg 80 When we re-frame failure as a fun does it help us try thing that we might not of tried? Reminds me of the question, what would you do if you know you wouldn’t fail?
• Her second splendid truth. “One of the best ways to make myself happy is to make other people happy. One of the best ways to make other people happy is to be happy myself.” Have you found this to be true for you?
• “To be happy, I need to think about feeling good, feeling bad and feeling right” Pg 65. She elaborates, feeling more good, feeling less bad and feeling that I am living the life I am supposed to lead. She adds , “in an atmosphere of growth” then calls it her First Splendid Truth. Does this seem like an accurate formula for you to use when increasing your happiness?
• “What a wonderful life I’ve had! I only wish I’d realized it sooner.” Gretchen quoting the author Colette. Did this notion resonate with you? When people reflect upon the life they have lived do they regret not appreciating life more?
• Enjoy Now. pg 84 Gretchen writes about a book called Happier, by Tal Ben-Shahar where the author describes the arrival fallacy. How many times do we tell ourselves we will be happy when we. . . ? Are we happy when. . .  comes?
• Repeating what people say is a powerful communication tool. pg.98. Instead of contradicting what her child is saying Gretchen decides to repeat what she is saying. She explains that her child feels acknowledged. It also helps in conversation with almost anyone. Repeating back what someone says give them permission to elaborate and helps build connection. Research shows connecting with people improves happiness.
• “Don’t let perfect be the enemy of the good” pg 144 A Voltaire quote Gretchen references. Perfectionist may be able to relate to this notion. People can freeze up and not even try if they think it won’t be good enough. We all start somewhere.
• October: Mindfulness Have you practiced being more mindful? Everyday a new when you are mindful of the task at hand. Do you go into autopilot on one task so you can do something else at the same time. For example, driving; do you drive home on autopilot so you can talk on the phone? How would it feel if you only did one activity at a time?

 

From Gretchen’s Guide

1. Gretchen argues throughout The Happiness Project that striving to be happy is a worthy, not selfish, goal. Do you agree? Do you think that Gretchen was right, or not, to devote so much time and attention to her own happiness? Do you spend much time thinking about your happiness?

 

2. The Happiness Project is packed with quotations. Which quotation resonated most with you? Do you have a quotation that has been particularly meaningful in your own life—that you’ve included in your email signature or taped to your desk, for example?

 

3. One of Gretchen’s resolutions is to “Imitate a spiritual master.” Do you have a spiritual master? Who is it? Gretchen was surprised to realize that St. Therese of Lisieux was her master. Do you know why you identify with your spiritual master?

 

4. Gretchen observes that “Outer order contributes to inner calm,” and many of her resolutions are aimed at clutter-clearing. Do you agree that clutter affects your happiness?

 

5. One of Gretchen’s main arguments is that “You’re not happy unless you think you’re happy,” and she spends a lot of time thinking about her happiness. However, many important figures have argued just the opposite; for example, John Stuart Mill wrote, “Ask yourself whether you are happy, and you cease to be so.” What do you think? Does striving for happiness make you happier? Or does it make happiness more elusive?

 

6. Did reading this book make you want to try one of the resolutions? Which one?

 

7. A criticism of The Happiness Project might be that writing a “year of…” book is gimmicky. Did you like the “experiment for a year” approach, or did it strike you as a cliché? Why do you think so many authors are drawn to this structure?