Keeping track can be a blessing and a curse. Keeping track of inventory in a business is a good practice. Product can be ordered before it runs out. Keeping track of others behavior or keeping emotional track in relationships can be detrimental.
We like to have autonomy and choice when we are experiencing life. Having a trusted person to consult when making decisions can be helpful yet ultimately the decision is ours to make. When we try to push our opinion or desire on others we are interfering with their opportunity to experience contemplating a decision, making a decision and analyzing the outcome of that decision. Pushing our opinion on others could send the message that they are not capable of making their own decisions. Have you ever noticed when people try to make up your mind for you? How does that feel to you? What if people gave you the support and encouragement to make your own decisions?
Another way we keep track is monitoring other’s behavior. We watch to see if they are doing what we think they should do. If not, we get uncomfortable and try to change them so we can be more comfortable. It is especially difficult when it comes to family members. We have so many expectations and opinions about our family that can be hard to separate what we need and what they need. How hard is it to just love and accept, not necessarily like, what our family members do? Sometimes that begs the question, how do I relate to my family member when I have very little in common with them? What do we talk about? How do I show love when I struggle to be around them? How do I accept and not agree?
The answer to difficult questions like these seems to be keep love in our hearts for all, including ourselves and allow others to be themselves without trying to regulate their behavior. This is truly easier said than done. How have you struggled with this situation? Are you aware of you actions in this area or is it so natural for you that you didn’t even realize you do it? After thinking about it, do you notice how you may do this? Share below, if you like, so we may all learn from one another.